Ukrainian Chronicles

"The Idiot's Guide to Simple Travel in Ukraine"

2009-01-18T13:18:00.000-08:00

Conventional Railway Trains

Travel by train in Ukraine is the most common long distance mass transit used by the vast majority of people traveling both within Ukraine and within Eastern Europe. It is relatively inexpensive, easy to use, and fairly reliable despite the fact the vast majority of inner-country trains are very old and in bad need of maintenance and modernization. Trains are regularly scheduled, and go to almost every major area within every region in the country.

Tickets generally may be purchased by either going directly to the train Vokzal or depot (not to be confused with the cross-country bus Vokzal or riverside ship Vokzal) in the central part of Kyiv, or any of the cities in the country. In larger cities, you may also purchase tickets from a designated agency office which is recommended to avoid the usually long lines and sometimes cranky ticket agents at the central Vokzal. Bear in mind that the railway system is a for-profit enterprise, and as such has seasonally adjusted prices for travel according to accommodations wanted. Plan ahead, call, or better yet, check the websites for train schedules and pricing before you go anywhere to buy a ticket. One of the most comprehensive travel websites with schedules is: http://www.bestofukraine.com .

There are many cities that offer suburban style commuter trains from the central “hub” cities. These go on a regular basis from the hub city to the smaller destination city and offer only bench or seat accommodations. These are usually very inexpensive, even in tourist seasons in summer. You have to check for them on an individual destination basis.

There basically three classes of train travel for non-suburban travel ranging from the basic open sleeping berths cars to the more expensive private, two-berth “soft class” compartments. There is also the four berth compartments, or “deluxe” class which most people travel in. These last two classes offer much safer travel in that the doors close and lock from inside whereas the open berth sleeping cars don’t offer any closed security areas. In summer, it is even possible to pay for the “extra deluxe” accommodation of having air conditioning in your compartment, but this is NOT guaranteed to be functional beyond the top part of the window going down to let in air flow during travel. It is nice, however, if it works, and then worth the price. I've had both situations in the past going to Crimea in the very hot summertime.

An interesting note regarding travel outside of Ukraine is that Stalin was afraid of the Germans invading using railway tracks so he had all the USSR tracks built three inches wider than the standard ones in Europe. Therefore when you reach any border going out of Ukraine, the train will stop, be literally hoisted ten feet in the air so that the wheels may be realigned for your continued journey. It’s an interesting thing to experience.

Bedding and linens are supplied now in the cost of your ticket, or they normally are. If they are not for some reason, the conductor will come and ask you to pay when he or she asks for your travel ticket. The cost is very little, and you will also be offered some tea or coffee, which are complimentary the first time around.

As with any long distance travel in Ukraine, whether bus or conventional train, you are highly advised to bring all your travel needs and supplies, especially toilet paper, as well as food, snacks and drinks. There are dining cars on most long distance trains, and the conductors can also sell you tea, coffee, and snacks. There is a table in the compartment that you will share with your traveling companions as all four berths are mixed company…that is men and women, regardless of whether you are acquainted before or not. As Ukraine is a very social country, it’s not a problem, and everyone seems willing to usually share vodka, wine, kielbasa and so on. However, be prepared too, for the fact that moral standard are considerably different here. People don’t wear a lot to bed normally, especially in summer and are not reluctant to move around so attired…

A final word of caution, don’t expect toilets on trains to be sanitary and up to USA standards. They aren’t. Most are not outright “nasty-bad,” but not good either. They are very old and not much past the outhouses commonly found at village homes or roadside cafes. Some have functional showers that the locals use, but I won’t, or haven’t had to yet. Bring your own soap and towel when washing up. Not sure if they have hot water. Water taps are tricky upside down button affairs and the commode flushes onto the tracks so you have to be there when the train is moving or you can’t use it.

"The Idiot's Guide to Simple Travel in Ukraine"

2009-01-17T12:45:00.000-08:00

Trains in Ukraine and Eastern Europe

Note: Technically speaking, the tramvoys, or electric overhead light rail systems, should be part of the ‘trains’ category. But, because they are so much like the other surface mass transits, I elected to include them with those.

The Metro

(pronounced MEE-tro)

One of the real values in Kiev’s transit system is its underground train, or subway system, known as “the metro.” It is a fast, easy to use, reliable, and relatively inexpensive means of getting across town. Built under the auspices of the USSR, it is a well-proven, enduring asset of the city. Like other metros throughout both Western and Eastern Europe, it is also the most popular means of travel by locals within the city. In Kyiv, over half the population, or more than 1.7 million people, will ride the metro on any given day. If you doubt that number in any way, try getting into one of the cars at rush hour, especially around 6 pm, and you’ll find most of those people riding in your car with you!

The metro operates 365 days a year. Normal transit times are from 05:30 am to 24:00 (12:00 midnight). On major holidays like New Years Eve, Orthodox Christmas and Easter, or specified special events, the trains run until 02:00 am. Last New Year, they even extended it further to 03:00 am. Train interval times are short during normal working hours, often less than one minute apart during “rush hour,” spreading out to 2 minute during the day, then 4 minutes after working hours, slowing finally to every 20, then 30 minutes in the later evening. When boarding, move quickly to a spot away from the door. Pay attention to the warning that lets you know the doors are closing: “Oberezhniy dveri zakinchennya! ” Remember, the seats are intended for the aged, invalid, people with small children (under age 8) or school groups, and pregnant women.

Stations are all marked by a very large green neon light “M” next to the entry and exit stairwell. All station areas have multiple access points and the actual station has separate exit and entry doors for incoming and outgoing passengers. All stations also have at least two separate access areas, some are about 500 meters apart on opposite sides of a street, and most have four, with two different points of access at which is each end of the train landing platform, front and rear. All this can be very disorienting if you get off on the wrong end. Believe me, it’s easy to do if you are not really paying attention to which way you are going, and changing trains and route lines several times. I still do it from time to time and end up going out the wrong door and wondering where I am for a few moments. (There’s a common joke among the Americans about whether you are an “above ground “ or “below ground” person..or one who rides the metro and doesn’t drive a car, and if you know your way around the city on the surface, even with a map! It can be just that disorienting at times! LOL).

Travel is easily accomplished by simply going to the token windows, generally waiting in line a few seconds, and purchasing the required blue plastic tokens, or talon, that you will insert into the control gate that grants entry to the landing station. The toll today is 2$ Grivna per use, or about 40 cents, US money at the current exchange rate. You can, and should, buy more than one token at a time, planning ahead for your travel. Otherwise, you’ll be standing in line all the time to buy them. There are also a limited number of monthly passes, or “proezdnoiy” (pronounced PREYZd-noy) sold at the end of each month at the station cashiers or at the bus stop kiosks, and they go quickly. They will save quite a bit if you are traveling all the time. We have yearly passes as we travel constantly and have already made back their cost in just 6 weeks. Otherwise, just buy several tokens at once to avoid standing in line.

Entry through to the landing platforms is simple. You insert your plastic token into the front slot on the seemingly barrier-less entryways. Be sure to wait for the light on the front to turn green before you enter (the turnstile will also give a double electronic beep-beep). If you go in before the light turns, you will find out how well the light sensor activated barrier gates work as they painfully slam into both your legs from each side of the entryway!

As long as you stay inside the system, you can travel anywhere within it, on any of the current three lines (soon to be four in another year).

While a very functional system overall, the fact it was built during the Soviet era and has had little updating past some new technology for the control system, everything is very old and looks it. Most of the cars are in operable condition, but looking very much their 50+ years of age. Some of the metro trains have received the “magic update” of advertising paint jobs, and they look pretty good. Others simply look very old, although they are always painted well. I am told they are going to all be replaced by 2012 for the European Cup Soccer Championship matches that will be held here in Kyiv and throughout Ukraine. I’ll believe that when I see it. Plus, I should add I have only been “trapped” on the subway once in two years when there was a technology breakdown and my train was stopped at “Petrivka” station. Unfortunately at the time, I didn’t know what busses left what station to go back to where I lived then. I knew it wasn’t far, but I lacked the real language skills back then to ask and understand instructions. Fortunately I found someone who spoke some English and found out what was happening. Nowadays, not a problem as I could find out and find a solution readily.

All the landing stations have their name in Russian on the wall. All the access streets are clearly signed inside the stations on the walls and above the landing platforms, so knowing Cyrillic letters is mandatory to be able to read the signs and know where to go to get out, or change stations for another line at an exchange station. Inside the train cars are overhead television style monitors that show advertising (raklami) and also show the station name arriving, and the next one going to. There is also always an audio station landing and departing announcement, but it can be very noisy in the cars at times, and hard to hear. Best to watch the overhead monitors; they work, most of the time, that is.

REMINDER NOTE ON SAFETY:

I’ve had my wallet stolen twice on the metro during rush hour, once right out of my shumka. If you are traveling as an inexperienced tourist, or even as an experienced one, I highly recommend that you avoid traveling on the metro at any time between 07:00 to 09:00 and 17:00 to 19:00 (5 to 7:00 pm). If you do, see my caution notes at the beginning of the Guide to avoid the heartaches and incredible difficulties you will experience, especially if you passport is lost (It is required by Ukrainian law to be on you at all times during your stay in Ukraine) in the process of someone wanting your money!!

"The Idiot's Guide to Simple Travel in Ukraine"

2009-01-13T13:38:00.000-08:00

Mass transportation

Before starting an overview of all the various forms of mass transit, it is important to post a couple of simple notes, warnings or cautions, if you will, regarding riding on any form of mass transportation in Ukraine…or any European country, Eastern or Western;

1. If you have any persona contact issues regarding body contact, such as someone touching you, standing close to you, or otherwise, then do not ride on any form of public transportation in Ukraine. I guarantee you that at some point, if not every time you ride a mass transit, you will be pushed, shoved, squeezed, compressed, stepped on and a host of other offensive things to those who suffer from “contact-aphobia.” The issues is yours, but do yourself a favor and save up your money before you come and hire a driver and car, or get an international driver’s license and rent a car. It’s the only way you’ll not end up in prison for causing problems because someone was “touching you” or “in your space.” Sounds silly, but I feel it’s important to know.

2. Assume, most unfortunately, that Ukraine is a country of zhuliks (petty gypsy thieves) and you will have a happy visit. Do not, under any circumstances travel with anything of value (e.g. money, jewelry, passport, credit cards, etc,) in a place that can be reached easily by someone’s hand. Keep money, credit cards, etc. in a money belt, the front pants pocket, or in a zippered inside pocket of a travel coat or another inaccessible place. Do not leave purses open and do not travel in very crowded compartments of any type with your purse, personal bag, or attaché case in your hand hanging down out of sight at the end of your arm unless it is closed with a lock. Keep personal bags close to you and in your easy sight. Under no circumstances can anything of value be kept in a rear pants pocket that is open and not covered completely by a coat. Common theft is a “crime of opportunity…and in this country, given the opportunity, they’ll do it just to see if they can…like I said…unfortunately it’s a zhulik Ukraine.

3. When you do travel, double check everything on you before, during and after you travel to make sure it is still where it belongs…just make it a habit and you won’t be sorry…in this case, “OCD” is recommended .

4. An important rule to remember for all mass transit systems in Ukraine is that the seats, whether marshrutki, avtobus, trolleybus, or tramvoys, are reserved for the elderly (primarily older babushkas..or grandmothers, the invalid of any age, and people with little children or pregnant women. If you are on a public transit and one of these people boards, get up and give that person your seat. If not, someone will ask you to do that.

Buses

Daite moi talon pozhaluista bez garchitci…

in English, it roughly says, “Pass my ticket, please, and hold the mustard.”

There are three types of busses in Ukraine:

1. Marshrutka

2. Avtobus

3. trolleybus

They have many similarities, and differences.

Marshrutka

(pronounced mar-SHrOOT-ka):

Marshrutki (plural of marshrutka) are people mover taxis. They are not city owned, but owned by a private company under license from the city. As a result, they are very regular, pacing other city buses at two to one, or more arrival times. They generally hold 16-21 people seated and 45-50 total with standing, but on a good day at rush hour (7 am to 9 am and 5 pm to 7 pm) that number will jump to 60, maybe more. It’s hard to count how many people are actually on one when you’re smashed against the door trying not to get crushed when it opens for the next stop.

Marshrutki will stop at any bus stop, or in Russian it is “ostanovka” (actually pronounced ASTA-nov-ka), but will also stop like a taxi at a requested place if you ask the driver and tell him exactly where you need to get off. Otherwise, to get off you either go to one of the doors and stand there so the driver knows you want off at the next stop, or you rather ceremoniously announce very loudly to the driver “na ostanovka pozhaluista” (literally translated means “to the bus stop, please) or “sleduyschaya ostanovka pozhaluista” (literally means “next bus stop, please). This saves you from having to know what the name of the stop is. People who know where they are going will simply call out the street name or bus stop name…all bus stops have a name, too. They also pick people up that signal them (hand down and out at arms length at a 45 degree angle).

Almost all marshrutki have a “conductor” who collects the fares. It is a pay-per-use fare and there are not any passes you can purchase ahead of time. Current fares are 2$ Grivna (some going longer routes are up to 4$ to 5$ Grivna) and you either pay the conductor when you get on, she will come to your seat to get it, or like buying a hot dog at a sports event, if it’s crowed, you pass your money to the person in the seat, or standing, in front of you and they will pass it forward to the conductor, or the driver if there is no conductor…and be sure to tell them “bez garchitci, pozhaluista” ….just kidding, that means “without mustard” in Russian. They will then pass back your change and your ticket (talon). And, yes, it will be the right amount of change…ironic for the amount of theft in this country.

Avtobuses

(pronounced AFTO-buse)

These are the city-owned municipal free-route busses, as I call them, since they are diesel powered and can travel on any open street or roadway. Like the trolleybuses, these can be anything from a much older, dilapidated single unit model up to a very new and modern, twin flexi-unit model with a main tractor unit and trailer connected with a flexible connector in the central area over the trailer hitch…I call them “super-busses.” All such vehicles, including trains, are referred to in general in Russian as being a “poezd” (pronounced POE-yeast).

These units seat, or hold, over a hundred people at a time, and I have no idea what that number can be on rush hours…”brutal” is the only word I know at those times. I try not to ride them during rush hour if at all possible. Like the marshrutki, these usually have a conductor to collect fares. If not, you are on the honor system to come and pay the driver. In all cases, you get your ticket and go to a cancelling machine attached to an upright hold-on bar and manually punch it yourself. I am of the opinion that it’s supposed to a be a pay for use system, but very often I have not cancelled when I was coming back the same way and cancelled on the return pass. Conductors don’t require you to cancel, or some don’t. However, you can buy discounted tickets at bus stop kiosks and if you come on with one, or one purchased previously, you must cancel it upon getting on and show the conductor you have it. Each bus has its own cancel pattern, too, so they will know if it was canceled on their bus. If you are in the country for an extended period for any reason, it may be worthwhile to purchase a ‘proeznoi” or monthly pass. It will save a lot of money, but mostly it saves a lot of time and bother in purchasing tickets.

There are also “bus police.” Since a lot of the buses don’t have conductors, or even those that do, often people will do anything to avoid paying the fare. I see them hiding in corner seats pretending to read a book, listen a walkman, and my favorite is, talking on their mobile phone. If you are on a city bus and a person comes up to you and flashes a picture ID in the palm of their hand and identifying themselves, they are a “control officer” and you must show them your cancelled ticket, prozenoi, or State travel ID that allows free transit. The fine for not having any of those is 40$.

Trolleybuses

(pronounced “trow-LEA-bouse”

These are the electric overhead versions of the avtobus system. All are municipally owned and operated and all the fares, rules and regulations for the avtobus system and how they operate are exactly the same. They simply go on a route obviously determined by the overhead electric system’s tracks. Many are old and run down, but those are vanishing fast and being replaced by new and very modern LAZ Ukrainian made buses. Like the aging metro trains, many of the remaining older buses have been given a temporary fresh look with a “remont” or remodeling, by selling exterior advertising space on them in the form of total paint jobs. Some of them are rather clever schemes, too.

A word of advice for the trolleybus is the same as the avtobuses; don’t sit in the conductor’s seat and always give your seat, if you get one to aged, invalid, very young children or pregnant women. Generally speaking, on both the trolleybus and avtobuses, all the seats in the front section are primarily reserved for this people. The rest remain for them on a ‘best judgment” basis, but I would not advise sitting in a seat in front of a babushka who is forced to stand as a result.

Trams

or Tramvoi

(pronounced TRAM – voi)

This was originally the first real mass transit system for Kyiv, being installed before the turn of the 20^th century. Unfortunately, these today are the ancient overhead electric light rail trains that were installed by the Soviet Union some 50+ years ago and have suffered from an almost total lack of upkeep for the last 20 or more years. These operate the same as the trolleybus system, but just within the railway track structure. These are used in the older parts of the city and on the left bank across the Dniper where there is currently on an east-west line of the metro.

For the most part, the tramvois are dilapidated and old, but handy in that, like the metro, are pretty quick travel. Many have been repaired and received the same “remont” advertising paint jobs, but the bulk remain in very sad condition.* They are subject to traffic and street light controls, however, and can sometimes be delayed like any other surface transport. The fares, rules and regulations are the same for these as the rest of the municipal system, and they almost always have a conductor. If not, again you pay the driver.

As a fun side note, there is actually a couple of completely restored pre-20^th century tramvois that are available for catering and private party tours though local agents and the tramvoi museum located down on Ulitsa Frunzi and they are very cool. They can be set up for tours just within the historic Podil district, but are a really great way to relive the history of an bygone Kyivan era.

"The Idiot's Guide to Simple Travel in Ukraine"

2009-01-13T11:45:00.000-08:00

“The Guide”

While I have given several places over to comments about the transportation systems in Ukraine in previous editions of the “Ukrainian Chronicles,” none have been done together. I thought it might be interesting to all, and hopefully of help to people planning to travel here, if I simply did a set of articles, concurrently, on the entire system. We’ll title it after the famous American “how-to” books and call it “The Idiot’s Guide to Simple Travel in Ukraine,” with no apologies to the originators of those books, either, since the “idiot” is me.

Travel on foot

The most common, everyday travel in Ukraine is on foot. Whether in a village or a big city, whether you drive a car or take public transportation, at some point you most likely will be walking to get somewhere. Very often a day may require you to walk as much as 5 kilometers during your going and coming. Knowing your way around, or being able to find it, can be challenging even with a good map.

Ukrainians, and all Eastern Europeans, take walking as a normal part of life and they walk at a clip that would intimidate even an accomplished Olympic “speed walker.” I am told the citizens of Moscow walk even faster. I have a good long stride and can move effectively, but I am still slow by Ukrainian standards. People are almost always late wherever they go, and thus they “really like to move-it, move-it”.

Streets are marked in many ways and in many places, and there is a building numbering system, sort of. There is a slight problem in that streets can begin and end in the middle of a block, at a bend in the street, or just about anywhere someone decided to end them. As I have found a few times, streets can also begin at the very end of another street and then make a 90 degree turn. So, you have the beginning numbers of buildings for the street literally starting on a street going in an entirely different direction and with an entire different street name. Locals will be your best source of help there, and in this country, believe me, even the locals ask other locals for directions ALL THE TIME..they have to, for all the reasons given here. One good thing, however, is generally speaking; even numbers are usually on one side, and odd numbers on the other, at least until the middle and inside the middle of the block.

There is also the added factor there are almost always buildings behind the buildings along the street in the main parts of the cities. Those are numbered, too, either with corresponding numbers and alpha sub sets, or separate numbers from the others. Building number 24 on Ulitsa Vladimirskaya (Vladimir Street) may have three buildings behind it that are numbers 24a; 24b; or even 24v and right next to, or in between them might be building 26, none of which are on the street. There are pass-through passageways to buildings behind the main ones, so if your number isn’t on the street side set of buildings, look behind the nearest number and see if it is there. It can often be more like a treasure hunt than finding a street address.

Also, street names are in both Russian and Ukrainian, depending on when the sign was made and put up. Building numbers usually also have the street name above or below the number. A lot of times the names in the two languages are similar. Once again, locals are your best source, so make sure your Russian or Ukrainian is good enough to ask directions and understand them when you get them….or have someone write the address you want down for you on a sheet of paper in Russian or Ukrainian and point to the address and ask “Vi znaete gde est’ eta ulitsa?” (Do you know where this street is?) and pay close attention to hand signals as to where to go. Ask for “how many streets” to go, or “skol’ko ulits ot syuda eto budit?” Then you can get how many fingers they show in response…hopefully not the middle one.

Taxis

The second common transportation in Ukraine is by taxi, privately or corporately owned. Unless you make arrangements for a mini-van, all taxi’s are small compact four door cars, or the ones at the airport or “Vokzal” (train or bus depot) can be small station wagons to carry large luggage. Taxis are used by everyone, local and foreign. I know of some instances where they are used instead of taking a marshrutka or train to another city when there is no airline flight and someone is in a hurry to get there. I even know a couple of people who take one to work every day and pay for a monthly service to do so. Sort of a “lower cost” chauffeur service.

While the taxi fare meters can be found here on many of the newer taxis, those are predominately for corporate clients, or foreigners who don’t know any better. Unlike the USA, and some other countries, here the “metered fare” system is NOT the common method of fare determination. Fare is determined by barter..open negotiation. So, before you run to jump into a taxi (not called a “cab” here), stop and open the door, or proceed to the driver, tell him where you are going, then ASK HOW MUCH THE FARE WILL BE FIRST BEFORE YOU GET INTO THE CAR AND MAKE SURE YOU AGREE ON THE PRICE AND DESTINATION. You can find taxis anywhere in town, usually at any metro station or bus stop even and they all have taxis lights on top…98% of them do.

Taxis from the airport are expensive if you don’t know where to go to get one and the drivers will all but kidnap you as you depart the customs area. There are taxi stands (in buildings marked as “Taxi”) outside the airport on the right side as you exit, and prices are usually less there. Don’t be shy about demanding a better price. More on airport transport will be under airline travel and the airport.

"The Idiot's Guide to Simple Travel in Ukraine"

2009-01-13T11:29:00.000-08:00

”The Idiot’s Guide to Simple Travel in Ukraine”

Or to paraphrase a stupid Peter Sellers’ line from “Dr Strangelove;”

”How I stopped worrying about the language and learned to love marshrutki to nowhere”

Note: For serious travelers coming, and those already “in country” needing train schedules and other travel information, please use the ultimate in travel details in Ukraine found on the fantastic Ukrainian website; “The Best of Ukraine.” http://www.bestofukraine.com/index.html

Prologue

When I first came to Ukraine, I was “terrorized” by the mass transit systems. There were so many unknowns about routes, what to do to get where you needed to go, and of course, the language differences. It’s not like I never rode a bus or train in my life or anything, and certainly at my age, education and reasoning abilities, I can pretty much figure out most any situation with a problem at hand. But language ability, reading, understanding and speaking it, is a big factor in the “reasoning equation.” Without it, you might as well be deaf and blind.

Since I ended up by myself the vast majority of the time when I originally first traveled in Ukraine, by bus or train, it was always a continuing ‘fear’ I had that I would misunderstand someone and end up on some “bus to nowhere…” Many people mover buses here go to remote village locations, as well as other big cities. Since a lot of cities and villages have similar sounding names to a “untrained” or inexperienced ear, the “fear,” while admittedly a bit silly in the civilized world, was not without some merit. And I actually DID end up going to the wrong place one time through just such a misunderstanding. Fortunately it was not a serious “error” and my Russian proved better than expected “under fire,” as the bus driver easily got me on the next bus going to where I needed to go.

So, that having been said, I recommend to ALL people coming here to do two bare minimum things for your own well being, and happier traveling; 1) Memorize the modern Cyrillic alphabet. Both Russian and Ukrainian use it, albeit slightly modified in Ukrainian. 2) Buy a Russian copy of the famous “Rough Guide” for travel and READ it before you come, and LEARN THE KEY PHRASES AND WORDS…and learn to PRONOUNCE THEM CORRECTLY! If you want a higher level of language ability, but not spend a lot of money, buy one of those famous “idiot’s guides” and get the one for “The Idiot’s Guide to Learning Russian.” I have it and use it. It is an incredibly good book for finding a solid, basic, conversational level of Russian. After all, Russian and Ukrainian people can’t help you if they can’t understand what you are trying to ask them…and they DON’T SPEAK ENGLISH.

Along those lines, I should add that it is my understanding by virtue of an extremely unpleasant personal encounter requiring the assistance of the Ukrainian Militsa (State police) that all officers are trained to understand one phrase in English; “I am an American and I need help!” I have met several Policemen who spoke very elementary English. Many studied English is elementary school, but forgot it since they never use it. Don’t count on anyone speaking English, but if you are really pressed to find someone, try a young person first, someone in their teens to twenties. A lot of them today studied English in elementary and high school and have at least an elementary speaking level.

I am also going to post some ‘warning advice” for different transport forms and travel in general, as well as my commentaries for people who have certain “aversions” that could prove to be problematic for them (silly and serious both) here given large cultural differences and mode of travel demands and conditions.

As a silly example: young women be forewarned before you come here; the women in Ukraine are some of the most beautiful in the world. So much so that even the Beatles dedicated a lyrical line to them in their classic 60’s rock and roll song, Back in the USSR; “Ukraine girls really knock me out. They leave the West behind…” Granted, while it is not true of all the women here, many, many of the women in this country, from 5’3” to 6’3” are absolutely drop dead gorgeous, have blue or green eyes, and are a perfect size one to size five. They could all easily be professional models. My wife is one of them. American women who have come here will tell you this is true…

Plus the women here, young and old, dress like they are going to be “showing on the fashion runway” every day with full make-up, designer clothes; including jeans, fabulous fur coats (many floor length) and fur hats in winter, designer shoes or boots, and all designer accessories. So, my warning is sill, but simple; if you have self-awareness and identity issues, be prepared to be shocked. LOL! And now to the more serious information….

One Potato, two potato…

2008-12-09T12:49:00.000-08:00

The sad face of deteriorating Ukrainian Architecture

As most of you know, people in the cities in Ukraine live in large, communal apartment complexes some of which with the recent building boom are thousands of apartments per building. While this is true in the USA in some of our major, high density population metropolitan areas like New York City, Chicago, and Los Angeles, the street number and building arrangments are quite different (more on that next) and the buildings are generally kept up pretty well. Most of the ones here are old, often dilapidated, and left over from the Soviet Union. Many are in terrible condition and sadly falling into decay and ruin, literally falling down. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, many are government owned buildings in the 60 to 70 year old category (The Soviet era was 70 years). Many are in the very heart of the city and on land that would command staggering real estate money were it not for the badly faltering economic conditions here. Nonetheless, they are sad to see and remind us that, even given the overt and terrible oppression of the Soviet regimes, many things in this country did get improvements. Add to that the fact the economy IS in the toilet here, many arguably say that the days of the SSR were not always all that bad. I can see their point..

Who numbered these buildings anyway, and how long were they drunk?

Taking into account that a typical city block of land here is about on kilometer, or 6 tenths of a mile square, (sometimes much bigger) you can figure there are a lot more buildings on a block than just the ones that may be facing the streets bordering it. In fact, very often there are dozens of building in the “interior” regions of a block, some with offices, businesses, kiosks, margazins (stores) groceries, and aptekas (pharmacies) on the bottom floor, along with parks, even maybe a lake, or other complexes. There are advantages to building 9 to 25 story buildings and cramming all the people into them…it leaves room for “amenities” all around.

There is a very distinct problem however, regarding the building numbers. That is, figuring out what number they are, and then what street they are numbered for. A lot of these buildings were built AFTER the ones facing along the streets, and they face all kinds of directions, not towards the street for which they are numbered. THEN add to that, the fact that streets often start and stop in the middle of a block, not necessarily at an intersection, and you have a REALLY BIG PROBLEM!

I was trying to find the office for a business client of mine the other day, LG Electronics Company. They are listed as being on Ulitsa Geriov Dnipra building number 3b. That can mean that it is the second part of the number 3 building, or a second building from 3a. Now, for those of you who have been reading my editions of the “Chronicles,” or have known me for a while, you will remember I used to LIVE on Ulitsa Geriov Dnipra (Geriov Dnipra Street) for about a year and a half. I know the street pretty well from one end to the other. I lived on the north end in the apartment building numbered Geriov Dnipra 62. Building number 3 should have been at the south end of the street, some three blocks down. I couldn’t find this freaking, idiot LG office building to save my soul….I looked for over half an hour and finally, by an absolute miracle of God, found a nice young man who spoke English well enough to help me look for it. We looked another 15 minutes and never found it outright, only by "coincidence."

Now, three important things to consider here. First, all streets are named in Russian, but the signs for the streets, along the street, are in a combination of Russian and now Ukrainian. Russian was required under the SSR. Ukrainian is required by the Ukrainian Government. So, someone can give you a street name in Ukrainian and it may, or may not, be the same or similar to the Russian name. The other thing is that while buildings are numbered all odd numbers on one side and all even numbers on the other, where they start is never consistent. Just like the street names starting and stopping in the middle of the block, BUILDING NUMBERS DO , TOO! It’s insane. The only small “saving grace” is the fact almost all the buildings have at least one number sign on the end of them and it also has the street, in Russian, for which it is numbered.

Now, back to the LG building story…if I ever find the drunken idiot who numbered Geriov Dnipra, he or she will surely be DEAD! We also have a third element here, that is somewhat of a typical European roadway item at intersections, which I call “roundy-rounds” or “go-arounds” where everyone driving takes there vehicle into a common circle drive around intersection and exits at the desired street and direction. What you don’t realize on foot is that these “go arounds" also COUNT as the end of a block. That means the buildings on what you would normally consider the cross street at the end of the street you are looking on, are really on THAT street, not the cross street! Are you confused?

Hey, try it over here, not just reading some coo-coo guy’s blog like this one. That means that Geriov Dnipra 3 b was not on Geriov Dnipra. It was really physically located across the intersection from the roundy-round, next to the bus stop on the cross street, at the corner of the first side street, some 100 meters from the rest of the street. Listen, my Russian is good enough now I can ask anyone where just about anything is, and I have even figured out the difference between a street name given to me in Ukrainian and found it in Russia…. I would NEVER have found this building without extreme help. Never!

How did we find it? I happened to mention that I was really looking for the LG Electronics main office and the young man helping me knew where it was since LG is big with computer stuff here…otherwise, I would still be looking for it..AHHHHHHHHHHH! Drunks! Keep them out of the streets numbering department!

It's a Ukrainian A-fare...

2008-12-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

It’s a Ukrainian A-fare…

Living in a world of mass transit is both interesting, and often challenging. Over the last two years, I’ve traveled all over Ukraine in every form of public transportation at one time or anoter. I have noted the following qualities about traveling on the trains, Metro (subway- pronounced "MEE-tro"), the Trolleybuses (pronounced “Trowl-LEA-boos), Avtobuses (pronounced “auf-TO-boos), Tramvoy (pronounced "TRAM-voy) and the Marshrutki (pronounced “Mar-SHrOOT- key) (30 passenger people-mover mini-bus taxi’s):

1. Ukraine is an alcohol-oriented society, including when they travel. People drink constantly here, literally. When traveling by train, they drink in their compartments, with or without food. I have seen people drinking beer, even vodka on the way to work, at lunchtime, and on the way home on the metro, on the trolleybus, on every form of transportation here. I even saw a man a couple of days ago sitting in the trolleybus driver’s large separate compartment, next to the driver, drinking shots of vodka…without any hesitation or attempt to disguise it..no need to: IT’S LEGAL!

2. People push and shove very rudely getting on and off the mass transit, et al, and seats are all like gold. But they will jump up instantly and give up their seat when a babushka, pregnant woman, woman with small children, or an invalid/handicapped person comes on-board any transport. The seats are reserved for them, and all the signs and announcements make that exceptionally clear. Anyone who does not abide by this rule can be subject to literal physical harm by other passengers...or a babushka, if she gets a hold of you while you are running....

3. The “Konduktr” on board the trolleybuses, tramvoys, and marshrutki are “god” as far as passengers are concerned. They collect the fares, or try to, and they have their own, reserved seat. God have mercy on the soul that sits in that seat, too. I did it only once when I first came, by mistake and not seeing the sign designating that seat….it’s a different seat on each vehicle…chosen by the conductor, of course.

4. All signs and announcements onboard all public transport are in UKRAINIAN, NOT RUSSIAN. It makes it doubly difficult to get around if you don’t know Ukrainian. When I first started riding the Metro, I thought the announcement when the doors closed was two words…something like: Watch out! Or “Doors Closing,” or something like that. As I went forward learning Russian and started learning some Ukrainian, one day I suddenly "heard" all the words and knew what they were! It was an ‘epiphany” moment for me: “Be careful (watch out), the doors are closing.” Or “Обере́жний две́рі закі́нчення” (Oberezhniy dveri zakinchennya)…try saying that really fast like a native speaking announcer on the metro or trolleybus. Now, two years later, I can tell you what all the announcements mean, on my own, and I can even recite most of them correctly.

It’s a FARE question…

The Kiev Metropolitan Transportation Ministry just raised the fares on all publicly owned transportation by 400% (Metro, trolleybuses, aftobuses (diesel powered buses)… Marshrutki are run by a privately owned company, but raised rates equally. I have written many times that it was way past due to raise fares since they were the same for 8 years, and at the equivalent of 50 cents in USA money. Now with the incredible devaluation of the national currency, the Grivna, the fare increase seems about the same. They went from 50 kopecs to 2$ grivni.

However, people here sometimes act like the proverbial “gypsy thieves” and do anything they can to get out of paying the stupid bus fares. They have no choice on the metro because it’s regulated by guards and pay turnstiles and the marshrukas are too small to "hide" on..and the conductor will come after you when you sit down. But on the trolleybus and avtobus, it’s all up to the conductor, or if no conductor, the driver, to collect the fares. People have all sorts of dodges conceived. The most common are talking on their mobile phones and pretending not to hear or see the conductor, reading a paper or magazine and pretending not to see or hear the conductor, or tucking away in a corner seat and looking out the window. Granted, many of us have what is called a “Pryznoy” or monthly pass, or now, we have a full one year pass since those became available with the increase in fares…and pensioners over 61 are exempt from paying. But, the cheaters are obvious and funny to watch. Beware though; we have “trolleybus police,” too. YUP, they have these guys who spend all day getting on and off all the buses and checking every passenger for either a valid fare ticket or a pass. The fine if busted is a rocking 40$ grivna..or about $5 with the devaluation rate currently. Crazy country…or as someone I used to know said, “The United States and Ukraine are two completely different PLANETS!” I agree and so does Alina.

Coming soon…Ukrainian building practices; “Talk about being drunk on the metro…who the heck numbered these buildings and how long were they drunk?”

It's an ODD Country...

2008-11-27T06:53:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO OUR NEW "UKRAINIAN CHRONICLES" BLOG! Yeah!

With all the demands on time, and with the technology limitations on sending attachments in the old MS Windows dot.doc format for all to receive, we decided to switch to a "blogger" format. This not only enables everyone to easily access the "Chronicles," but allows us to post as we have something we hope is interesting for you and not wait to "save them all up." It also allows you to comment on what we send you whether it is boring (boos are not allowed, though) ;-( , funny, touching, or hopefully interesting.

So, that said, I wanted to write a comment about the very strange affinity Ukraine has for odd numbers and the superstitions about even ones. That is, the apartments and other buildings are normally built in odd numbers of stories. i.e. 9-15-25 and so on. Our apartment building is 9 floors and all those around are the same. Nearby larger ones are 25 stories. The National Opera house has three levels. Even numbers are supposed to be bad luck, although some of the smaller "magazin" stores now are only two levels. No, 13 is not considered an unlucky number here, or at least we have not seen that it is. I guess that is simply an American superstition, maybe from Britain originally. Flowers are supposed to be purchased in odd numbers, NOT even. Even numbers are considered bad luck there, too. So, when you buy your beloved roses, or any stemmed flowers, you buy 1-3-5-7-9-11-13 and so on. That is the complimentary gift. Otherwise, you are wishing him or her bad luck...not something to do with flowers.

So when you come to Ukraine, remember, don't expect the top floor to be even, or hope to get a dozen roses...it's a very "odd" arrangement here all around!

PS. Next time I'll tell you about how buildings are numbered according to the streets...that you will REALLY love.