It's a Ukrainian A-fare...

It’s a Ukrainian A-fare…

Living in a world of mass transit is both interesting, and often challenging. Over the last two years, I’ve traveled all over Ukraine in every form of public transportation at one time or anoter. I have noted the following qualities about traveling on the trains, Metro (subway- pronounced "MEE-tro"), the Trolleybuses (pronounced “Trowl-LEA-boos), Avtobuses (pronounced “auf-TO-boos), Tramvoy (pronounced "TRAM-voy) and the Marshrutki (pronounced “Mar-SHrOOT- key) (30 passenger people-mover mini-bus taxi’s):

1. Ukraine is an alcohol-oriented society, including when they travel. People drink constantly here, literally. When traveling by train, they drink in their compartments, with or without food. I have seen people drinking beer, even vodka on the way to work, at lunchtime, and on the way home on the metro, on the trolleybus, on every form of transportation here. I even saw a man a couple of days ago sitting in the trolleybus driver’s large separate compartment, next to the driver, drinking shots of vodka…without any hesitation or attempt to disguise it..no need to: IT’S LEGAL!

2. People push and shove very rudely getting on and off the mass transit, et al, and seats are all like gold. But they will jump up instantly and give up their seat when a babushka, pregnant woman, woman with small children, or an invalid/handicapped person comes on-board any transport. The seats are reserved for them, and all the signs and announcements make that exceptionally clear. Anyone who does not abide by this rule can be subject to literal physical harm by other passengers...or a babushka, if she gets a hold of you while you are running....

3. The “Konduktr” on board the trolleybuses, tramvoys, and marshrutki are “god” as far as passengers are concerned. They collect the fares, or try to, and they have their own, reserved seat. God have mercy on the soul that sits in that seat, too. I did it only once when I first came, by mistake and not seeing the sign designating that seat….it’s a different seat on each vehicle…chosen by the conductor, of course.

4. All signs and announcements onboard all public transport are in UKRAINIAN, NOT RUSSIAN. It makes it doubly difficult to get around if you don’t know Ukrainian. When I first started riding the Metro, I thought the announcement when the doors closed was two words…something like: Watch out! Or “Doors Closing,” or something like that. As I went forward learning Russian and started learning some Ukrainian, one day I suddenly "heard" all the words and knew what they were! It was an ‘epiphany” moment for me: “Be careful (watch out), the doors are closing.” Or “Обере́жний две́рі закі́нчення” (Oberezhniy dveri zakinchennya)…try saying that really fast like a native speaking announcer on the metro or trolleybus. Now, two years later, I can tell you what all the announcements mean, on my own, and I can even recite most of them correctly.

It’s a FARE question…

The Kiev Metropolitan Transportation Ministry just raised the fares on all publicly owned transportation by 400% (Metro, trolleybuses, aftobuses (diesel powered buses)… Marshrutki are run by a privately owned company, but raised rates equally. I have written many times that it was way past due to raise fares since they were the same for 8 years, and at the equivalent of 50 cents in USA money. Now with the incredible devaluation of the national currency, the Grivna, the fare increase seems about the same. They went from 50 kopecs to 2$ grivni.

However, people here sometimes act like the proverbial “gypsy thieves” and do anything they can to get out of paying the stupid bus fares. They have no choice on the metro because it’s regulated by guards and pay turnstiles and the marshrukas are too small to "hide" on..and the conductor will come after you when you sit down. But on the trolleybus and avtobus, it’s all up to the conductor, or if no conductor, the driver, to collect the fares. People have all sorts of dodges conceived. The most common are talking on their mobile phones and pretending not to hear or see the conductor, reading a paper or magazine and pretending not to see or hear the conductor, or tucking away in a corner seat and looking out the window. Granted, many of us have what is called a “Pryznoy” or monthly pass, or now, we have a full one year pass since those became available with the increase in fares…and pensioners over 61 are exempt from paying. But, the cheaters are obvious and funny to watch. Beware though; we have “trolleybus police,” too. YUP, they have these guys who spend all day getting on and off all the buses and checking every passenger for either a valid fare ticket or a pass. The fine if busted is a rocking 40$ grivna..or about $5 with the devaluation rate currently. Crazy country…or as someone I used to know said, “The United States and Ukraine are two completely different PLANETS!” I agree and so does Alina.

Coming soon…Ukrainian building practices; “Talk about being drunk on the metro…who the heck numbered these buildings and how long were they drunk?”