"The Idiot's Guide to Simple Travel in Ukraine"

Mass transportation

Before starting an overview of all the various forms of mass transit, it is important to post a couple of simple notes, warnings or cautions, if you will, regarding riding on any form of mass transportation in Ukraine…or any European country, Eastern or Western;

1. If you have any persona contact issues regarding body contact, such as someone touching you, standing close to you, or otherwise, then do not ride on any form of public transportation in Ukraine. I guarantee you that at some point, if not every time you ride a mass transit, you will be pushed, shoved, squeezed, compressed, stepped on and a host of other offensive things to those who suffer from “contact-aphobia.” The issues is yours, but do yourself a favor and save up your money before you come and hire a driver and car, or get an international driver’s license and rent a car. It’s the only way you’ll not end up in prison for causing problems because someone was “touching you” or “in your space.” Sounds silly, but I feel it’s important to know.

2. Assume, most unfortunately, that Ukraine is a country of zhuliks (petty gypsy thieves) and you will have a happy visit. Do not, under any circumstances travel with anything of value (e.g. money, jewelry, passport, credit cards, etc,) in a place that can be reached easily by someone’s hand. Keep money, credit cards, etc. in a money belt, the front pants pocket, or in a zippered inside pocket of a travel coat or another inaccessible place. Do not leave purses open and do not travel in very crowded compartments of any type with your purse, personal bag, or attaché case in your hand hanging down out of sight at the end of your arm unless it is closed with a lock. Keep personal bags close to you and in your easy sight. Under no circumstances can anything of value be kept in a rear pants pocket that is open and not covered completely by a coat. Common theft is a “crime of opportunity…and in this country, given the opportunity, they’ll do it just to see if they can…like I said…unfortunately it’s a zhulik Ukraine.

3. When you do travel, double check everything on you before, during and after you travel to make sure it is still where it belongs…just make it a habit and you won’t be sorry…in this case, “OCD” is recommended .

4. An important rule to remember for all mass transit systems in Ukraine is that the seats, whether marshrutki, avtobus, trolleybus, or tramvoys, are reserved for the elderly (primarily older babushkas..or grandmothers, the invalid of any age, and people with little children or pregnant women. If you are on a public transit and one of these people boards, get up and give that person your seat. If not, someone will ask you to do that.

Buses

Daite moi talon pozhaluista bez garchitci…

in English, it roughly says, “Pass my ticket, please, and hold the mustard.”

There are three types of busses in Ukraine:

1. Marshrutka

2. Avtobus

3. trolleybus

They have many similarities, and differences.

Marshrutka

(pronounced mar-SHrOOT-ka):

Marshrutki (plural of marshrutka) are people mover taxis. They are not city owned, but owned by a private company under license from the city. As a result, they are very regular, pacing other city buses at two to one, or more arrival times. They generally hold 16-21 people seated and 45-50 total with standing, but on a good day at rush hour (7 am to 9 am and 5 pm to 7 pm) that number will jump to 60, maybe more. It’s hard to count how many people are actually on one when you’re smashed against the door trying not to get crushed when it opens for the next stop.

Marshrutki will stop at any bus stop, or in Russian it is “ostanovka” (actually pronounced ASTA-nov-ka), but will also stop like a taxi at a requested place if you ask the driver and tell him exactly where you need to get off. Otherwise, to get off you either go to one of the doors and stand there so the driver knows you want off at the next stop, or you rather ceremoniously announce very loudly to the driver “na ostanovka pozhaluista” (literally translated means “to the bus stop, please) or “sleduyschaya ostanovka pozhaluista” (literally means “next bus stop, please). This saves you from having to know what the name of the stop is. People who know where they are going will simply call out the street name or bus stop name…all bus stops have a name, too. They also pick people up that signal them (hand down and out at arms length at a 45 degree angle).

Almost all marshrutki have a “conductor” who collects the fares. It is a pay-per-use fare and there are not any passes you can purchase ahead of time. Current fares are 2$ Grivna (some going longer routes are up to 4$ to 5$ Grivna) and you either pay the conductor when you get on, she will come to your seat to get it, or like buying a hot dog at a sports event, if it’s crowed, you pass your money to the person in the seat, or standing, in front of you and they will pass it forward to the conductor, or the driver if there is no conductor…and be sure to tell them “bez garchitci, pozhaluista” ….just kidding, that means “without mustard” in Russian. They will then pass back your change and your ticket (talon). And, yes, it will be the right amount of change…ironic for the amount of theft in this country.

Avtobuses

(pronounced AFTO-buse)

These are the city-owned municipal free-route busses, as I call them, since they are diesel powered and can travel on any open street or roadway. Like the trolleybuses, these can be anything from a much older, dilapidated single unit model up to a very new and modern, twin flexi-unit model with a main tractor unit and trailer connected with a flexible connector in the central area over the trailer hitch…I call them “super-busses.” All such vehicles, including trains, are referred to in general in Russian as being a “poezd” (pronounced POE-yeast).

These units seat, or hold, over a hundred people at a time, and I have no idea what that number can be on rush hours…”brutal” is the only word I know at those times. I try not to ride them during rush hour if at all possible. Like the marshrutki, these usually have a conductor to collect fares. If not, you are on the honor system to come and pay the driver. In all cases, you get your ticket and go to a cancelling machine attached to an upright hold-on bar and manually punch it yourself. I am of the opinion that it’s supposed to a be a pay for use system, but very often I have not cancelled when I was coming back the same way and cancelled on the return pass. Conductors don’t require you to cancel, or some don’t. However, you can buy discounted tickets at bus stop kiosks and if you come on with one, or one purchased previously, you must cancel it upon getting on and show the conductor you have it. Each bus has its own cancel pattern, too, so they will know if it was canceled on their bus. If you are in the country for an extended period for any reason, it may be worthwhile to purchase a ‘proeznoi” or monthly pass. It will save a lot of money, but mostly it saves a lot of time and bother in purchasing tickets.

There are also “bus police.” Since a lot of the buses don’t have conductors, or even those that do, often people will do anything to avoid paying the fare. I see them hiding in corner seats pretending to read a book, listen a walkman, and my favorite is, talking on their mobile phone. If you are on a city bus and a person comes up to you and flashes a picture ID in the palm of their hand and identifying themselves, they are a “control officer” and you must show them your cancelled ticket, prozenoi, or State travel ID that allows free transit. The fine for not having any of those is 40$.

Trolleybuses

(pronounced “trow-LEA-bouse”

These are the electric overhead versions of the avtobus system. All are municipally owned and operated and all the fares, rules and regulations for the avtobus system and how they operate are exactly the same. They simply go on a route obviously determined by the overhead electric system’s tracks. Many are old and run down, but those are vanishing fast and being replaced by new and very modern LAZ Ukrainian made buses. Like the aging metro trains, many of the remaining older buses have been given a temporary fresh look with a “remont” or remodeling, by selling exterior advertising space on them in the form of total paint jobs. Some of them are rather clever schemes, too.

A word of advice for the trolleybus is the same as the avtobuses; don’t sit in the conductor’s seat and always give your seat, if you get one to aged, invalid, very young children or pregnant women. Generally speaking, on both the trolleybus and avtobuses, all the seats in the front section are primarily reserved for this people. The rest remain for them on a ‘best judgment” basis, but I would not advise sitting in a seat in front of a babushka who is forced to stand as a result.

Trams

or Tramvoi

(pronounced TRAM – voi)

This was originally the first real mass transit system for Kyiv, being installed before the turn of the 20^th century. Unfortunately, these today are the ancient overhead electric light rail trains that were installed by the Soviet Union some 50+ years ago and have suffered from an almost total lack of upkeep for the last 20 or more years. These operate the same as the trolleybus system, but just within the railway track structure. These are used in the older parts of the city and on the left bank across the Dniper where there is currently on an east-west line of the metro.

For the most part, the tramvois are dilapidated and old, but handy in that, like the metro, are pretty quick travel. Many have been repaired and received the same “remont” advertising paint jobs, but the bulk remain in very sad condition.* They are subject to traffic and street light controls, however, and can sometimes be delayed like any other surface transport. The fares, rules and regulations are the same for these as the rest of the municipal system, and they almost always have a conductor. If not, again you pay the driver.

As a fun side note, there is actually a couple of completely restored pre-20^th century tramvois that are available for catering and private party tours though local agents and the tramvoi museum located down on Ulitsa Frunzi and they are very cool. They can be set up for tours just within the historic Podil district, but are a really great way to relive the history of an bygone Kyivan era.